Nothing

I wish I could feel nothing. It’s better, it’s easier.

Always

I don’t care putting my friends in first place. What matters for me is if they’re good or not, and if for this I’ve to give up on my happiness, I’ll. Unfortunately or not, that’s who I am. And that’s who I’ll always be. [...] I’m tired of trying to change. I know sometimes it hurts when happens something not good, but it’s bigger than me. I’m also tired of seeing everyone caring and saying for me to change, and I appreciate this care. I do. Maybe I can’t change. Maybe I just don’t want to.

Change

Sometimes I can’t understand things. I always was the kind of person who thinks first in the others. But let’s take a note, most of times I also get fucked up. Theses days I was talking with a friend and we were talking about this. If you like to be this way, if you feel good, you just need to learn not to suffer all the time it happens a mess (difficult, I know). Because I prefer to see my friends happy, in all circumstances. [...] People generally tell me to put myself in first place. Second and third, too. I just can’t =/ I don’t know why, but I don’t change, it’s always the same story… So now, I’m gonna work with this, “helping” the others without hurting myself. Actually, sometimes I stay confused about what I really want, but I just need to be myself. And this is what I’m gonna do.

“..looking back at the platinum rule, I think there’s a ninth step. We’ll call it coexistence. It’s the moment you realize that all that anger and resentment just isn’t useful. And you start to let go of it. And move on with your life. It just takes a while.”

Smile

The smile is just one of the most attractive things in someone that calls my attention. Sometimes, even if you aren’t happy enough to smile, it’s important to do it, because people around you can’t know what’s passing with you, and a simple smile can change the day. So, even if you don’t want to smile, do it, you never know who will get into your smile.

Sometimes all you need is one.

Sometimes

I like being alone, but not all the time. Sometimes, you just need to be on your own place for a while, forgetting the world (and people) around ya. You’ve to take a time for yourself, only you. I know how it’s good to be with your friends and family, you need these moments of happiness beside ‘em. But other times, it helps having a walk alone, sitting somewhere… Just letting the time goes. I thought I was better, and I’m (not totally). [...] It’s so easy to say things for people, including yourself. The hard part is following what you said. As we all know, tomorrow is another day. Life goes on and you need to look ahead. Everything is going to be okay. Just… wait.

Just a Place

I like to come here alone, I feel free (and mom thinks I’m crazy). It’s a good place to think, to order your thoughts. [...] Well, today is a little bit full of people near here, and it’s very windy but I kinda like it. If had some place covered, it’d be great to start raining. And then, I’d run out through the rain. It helps to get better.

The point is, even if you try to cheat yourself, pretending everything is okay and acting as if you don’t care, you do. It comes a time that you just can’t do this anymore (lying to yourself). So you feel lost. What to do now? ‘Cause you know everything is going to be okay, but when?

Earlier, I wasn’t so good. Do you know that feeling of being full inside? But at the same time, empty? As if you’re going to explode (and it wasn’t a bad idea). Anyway, it passed. The problem is that nothing comes out anymore, and you stay anguished. Could it be strange, but I like to cry, you feel better inside.

Not all of the cases.

I guess I get inspired to write when things aren’t going okay, and my mind is a mess. So, let it be.

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Apenas uma frase que eu escutei hoje no trabalho… Cada um interpreta de uma maneira, e bem, acho que ainda estou tentando achar o significado dela pra mim.

Se você quer ser de uma pessoa, você não pode ser dela.